The Day of the Locust

It’s popular in the financial services biz to ask, “Why do you invest?”

For me, the answer is simple: I invest so I can say “no” more.

At the risk of sounding antisocial or perhaps like a curmudgeon, I’ve been longing for the ability to say “no” for most of my life. Too often, we can’t say no. And we are left spending an inordinate amount of time making sure we don’t disappoint people who we don’t really care about.

What a bizarre system.

Saying “yes” is a prerequisite at every step on the ladder. You are either a team player, or you are not. And team players say yes.

College is all about fitting in. Saying yes to the crowd. After college, we start a climb that requires a lot of help from those around us. Fraternizing is the cost of doing business, which means you have to say yes when invited.

If/when you have kids, it only gets worse. Life devolves into a series of monotonous meetups spanning the range of school functions to neighborhood gatherings to work parties. Your life’s progress can be measured by the number of times you are asked, “what do you do?” and how excited you are to answer.

Forget curmudgeon. It is possible I am just a sociopath.

A more inspirational writer would say at this point that there are tiny bits of joy to be found in each of these moments. Life is what you make it, after all.

I disagree. The joy comes in being able to say “no” to whatever part of it doesn’t suit you.

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I told a colleague I wanted to explore this concept in a post. His first reaction was to say, “that’s dumb.” His second was to say, “oh, you want f-you money.” But we’re not talking about f-you money. We’re not talking about obtaining vast fortunes to be used on splendor, or to be put to work making other people feel small. We’re talking about obtaining enough money to simply opt out altogether.

Which isn’t to say my goal is 100,000 acres somewhere in Montana where water is possible, but neighbors are scarce. (Disclosure: There are some days that conspire to make that my goal, but only some.) This is not about hiding in a hole. But think about all the things you would do if your calendar wasn’t so full of things you have to do. The goal in life, and with that the goal in investing, is to clear the schedule for those things you would do if time permitted.

I need to completely recast this post. Please delete from memory all that you have read. This is not about saying no, or opting out. It is about buying freedom. (I read somewhere once that spinning things as a positive make them so much more palatable than anchoring to a negative.)

Let’s not focus on the no. Let’s focus on all the wonders and joys that arise from the time cleared up after the no.

Last week I was supposed to spend the better part of a day helping a former coworker with his new venture. The person is a bit of an ass, if I’m honest. (I can say that without fear because I know he doesn’t read anything that isn’t about him. And to the point of this post, if he does read it, so what?) But all that was asked of me was a smiling face and a little virtual schmoozing, maybe some stock talk in very general terms. Dear reader, I assure you I can jokingly say “buy low, sell high!” with the best of them.

And there was this whole nebulous concept of “staying in the game” that he sold to me. By that reasoning, I almost had to do it.

But as fate would have it, I found myself on an impromptu visit to Locust Grove, Ga., last week for a high school track meet. (Total sidebar here, but who names their town after locusts? Someone who obviously doesn’t want any visitors. Would you rather go to “Flowery Branch” or “Locust Grove?” Exactly. Pretty smart person. Fits the theme here pretty well.)

Locust Grove has a lot going for it, besides the locusts. It is right off the highway, and with a wide variety of fast casual restaurants nearby. But it doesn’t offer great cellular service. At least not my cellular. At least not on a day where there are a lot of other adults crowded around a stadium half watching student athletes while trying to conduct business. And it was pouring down rain. A Zoom call was out of the question.

The coworker had a plan. He actually found a shared office building about 20 minutes from my location that rents conference rooms by the hour. He offered to put me up for the afternoon. There were no track events during that time that I would miss that I was there to see. He even offered to get me an Uber.

I said no.

Not because I am an ass. (Well, maybe?) Not because I don’t care if his business succeeds or fails. (Well, maybe?) I said no mainly because it seemed like kinda a pain. And because I have no real need to “stay in the game.”

Perhaps not all PTA meetings are as bad as I am making them out to be. And no amount of money can get you out of neighborhood potlucks. But the reason I invest, the why, for me, is to have just enough control over my life that I can pick and choose my moments. To be able to say “no,” and instead go watch a high school track meet in the rain.

There is great freedom in harnessing the power of “no.” With any luck, investing can help you win back at least a small sliver of your time.

Note: If you are not familiar with the novel that shares a name with this post, you should really remedy that. It fits the general theme of this post in a way that is either clever or sinister. The novel that also helped inspire one of the most famous cartoon characters of our generation.

Disclaimer: Fits and Starts DOES NOT provide financial advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Stocks mentioned are as reference only, and a mention should not be interpreted as a buy or sell recommendation. The author is not a registered advisor or a broker/dealer. DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK. The information contained within is not and should not be construed as investment advice, and does not purport to be. The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.

No statement or expression of opinion, or any other matter herein, directly or indirectly, is an offer or the solicitation of an offer to buy or sell the securities or financial instruments mentioned.